Navigating Hope and Fear | Choices in Childbirth
CHOICES IN CHILDBIRTH ESSENTIAL CONVERSATIONS
FOR PREGNANCY, BIRTH AND BEYOND NAVIGATING HOPE AND FEAR CHANEL: The reason why I wanted us
to meet up together today is to be able to have
the opportunity to really connect, get to know one another, and for us to start
to do some work here. I always start off with: What is your vision
for your birthing experience? And people will oftentimes be like, "Well, what do you mean
what's my vision? We're going to the hospital, right?" And I'd be like, "No, no, no.
What do you want for yourself?" ANDREA: Because people
don't think about, "I should have
a good birthing experience." They just know,
"I'm going to have this baby," they don't think about how
I should experience having my baby.
What the outcomes should look like
for me to give birth to my child. POOJA: I've probably attended
thousands of births at this point, but I don't think
anything could have prepared me for being in that position myself. And not just attending births, but I've actually led
quality initiatives and thought about
how we measure quality and how we show up the same way,
every time for every birth. But when I myself was pregnant and moving through
this experience for the first time, it wasn't so much thinking
about the rare, scary events, it was like, "What do I eat?" "How much water
am I supposed to be drinking?" "When was the last time you felt
this baby move, and is that okay?" I needed someone to just talk to
about all of the normal stuff.
And I don't think
that I really understood that embodied feeling until I was going
through the day-to-day of it myself. IT CAN BE NORMAL TO FEEL STRESS
ABOUT PREGNANCY, BIRTH AND PARENTING. MIMI: We have to accept
that fear is part of the process instead of trying
to push it out of the room or anesthetize it or numb it, that it actually serves a physiologic
role in the process that you need Even as parents, you need a little bit of fear
to keep everybody safe, almost, or to know
what the tension in the room is. And I do think that sometimes we forget that fear is a part
of the human experience and particularly plays a role
in labor and birth. SEVONNA: It's the difference
between sitting and preparing against maternal mortality
or morbidities that we know about and being prepared
for a level of vitality.
So many women
that I speak to or that I support really go into birth thinking that it's like another thing that's
going to be checked off of a list, or it's going to be
a very cold, sterile experience that really just needs
to get over with and done rather than something
to be fully present for and something to ask
exciting questions about along the way. HOPE AND JOY ARE IMPORTANT PARTS
OF YOUR JOURNEY, TOO. CHANEL: People need to know
that they're not alone, right? And sometimes the birthing experience
can seem lonely and it could feel
extremely difficult, right? But this is where
we're using those affirmations of reminding them of their power. Reminding them
that they have the strength. What was one of the things
that you used to remind yourself when you felt like,
"This is getting rough"? CAROLINA: Just repeating, whether
that's writing or saying out loud, "You got this.
You've done so much
before you got to this point. You can get to that point." That reminder to yourself is like,
"Yeah, I'm really all I need." Right. I love a good sticky note. So like a sticky note, dry-erase marker, you can put something
on a mirror to remind yourself: I am powerful, I am strong,
I am capable, I am here. I am doing this. TIKVAH: A lot of times,
in African-American culture, it's a big deal for us
because of the maternal mortality rate. We are three to four times
more likely to die. And so they want to make sure
that they are supported during their childbirth. CYNTHIA: Despite
all my reading and tutorials, the first time, I was still scared
because it was just me and my husband. Us against the world, so to speak.
And like I said, we didn't have
that extra support, so I was scared. But that second time, I wasn't. TAYO: You were able to attach yourself
to something that you created, to a dream that you created, and you knew
that you were going to bring it about and you also knew
that everybody on your team, your midwife, your doula, your husband, was 100% down to carry that out.
And I think that's what allows women
to feel that fearlessness, you know? There's nothing holding me back. There is nothing
that's going to stop me. Actually, there are people
who are going to help me get there because they believe in what I'm doing. They believe it's safe,
they believe it's right, and they want me
to have that kind of birth. LOOK FOR RESOURCES
TO WORK THROUGH YOUR FEARS. TALKING TO A FRIEND OR LOVED ONE
IS A GOOD WAY TO START. CHANEL: I want you
to be centered in joy. I want you to be centered in happiness. I want you to be centered in love. And I want you to know
that people genuinely care about you. So I'm going to do that
by getting to know about you.
Tell me about you. Hope is really built on
who you choose to have centered in that particular experience. Hope is the joy that you want to create
around your birthing experience. Hope is the love that you want to see and the vision
that you have for yourself. And look beyond just the present,
you know, look into the future. Like, what does your future look like
and how has it built on that? ASHLEY: Imagine your baby
nice and cozy and warm, curled up inside of you, just waiting to meet you.
And I want you to imagine
that we are breathing in all of the good things. All that is peaceful, all that is calming, all that is helpful to you. And we're going to breathe out
anything that doesn't serve us. For we know that you are
the expert on your body and that you are doing a great work. FOR MORE RESOURCES ON NAVIGATING HOPE
AND FEAR DURING PREGNANCY AND BEYOND, VISIT
EVERYMOTHERCOUNTS.ORG/CHOICESINCHILDBIRTH BROUGHT TO YOU BY
EVERY MOTHER COUNTS WITH SUPPORT BY
CVS HEALTH.
